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Duties of the Flower Girl and Ring Bearer in Modern Weddings

  • Writer: Karri Jablonski
    Karri Jablonski
  • Oct 1
  • 4 min read
flower girls at grand rapids wedding venue

Weddings are woven together with traditions. Some ancient, some modern, and other customs are tastefully amusing. Among these beloved customs are the roles of the flower girl and the ring bearer, two pint-sized participants who often steal the show with their cuteness. Their presence is often one of the most anticipated moments of the ceremony, drawing smiles, laughter, and sometimes even happy tears from the crowd. But as wedding styles continue to evolve, many couples ask: Are these traditional roles still necessary in today’s celebrations? Let’s explore what these duties traditionally entail, their symbolic meaning, and how they fit into the modern wedding scene.


The Flower Girl: Duties and Symbolism

The flower girl’s role dates back centuries, steeped in symbolism and hope. Traditionally, the flower girl walks down the aisle before the bride, scattering petals or carrying flowers to symbolize fertility, innocence, and the path to a prosperous marriage. Did you know, in ancient Roman times, she would carry herbs and grains? These items represented blessings of fertility and well-being for the couple. Over time, this evolved into the sweet custom of tossing rose petals that we see today.


Duties of the Flower Girl:

  • Processional moment: Her main duty is to walk down the aisle, often just before the bride, sprinkling petals or holding a small bouquet.

  • Carrying items: Instead of petals, some flower girls carry a basket, a floral hoop, or even a sign announcing the bride’s entrance (“Here comes the bride”).

  • Spreading joy: While her role may be symbolic, the flower girl is truly there to add lightheartedness and innocence to the ceremony.


Because flower girls are typically young (often between ages 3 and 8), their duties are intentionally simple. The charm often comes from their unpredictability. Sometimes scattering petals perfectly, sometimes running down the aisle, and occasionally deciding to sit in the middle halfway through. Regardless of how it unfolds, the audience is delighted.


The Ring Bearer: Duties and Symbolism

The ring bearer’s role also comes from tradition, though it is a bit more practical in theory. Historically, a young boy would carry the wedding rings on a cushion, presenting them at the altar. The role symbolized purity and the trust placed in the younger generation. In modern times, the responsibility of the actual rings usually falls to the best man, as entrusting a toddler with fine jewelry is risky. Still, the ring bearer plays an adorable role in the ceremony.


Duties of the Ring Bearer:

  • Carrying the rings: Traditionally, he carries the wedding rings on a pillow. Today, couples often use faux rings for the ceremony while the real ones remain safe.

  • Walking the aisle: He typically walks down just before the flower girl or just after, sometimes escorted by another child if very young.

  • Participating in photos: The ring bearer often gets a special moment in group pictures with the couple, adding to the memories.


Modern interpretations sometimes add a playful twist. Ring bearers have been known to pull wagons, wear superhero costumes under their suits, or carry ring boxes shaped like treasure chests. These variations make the role less about strict tradition and more about happiness.

Rings on a pillow at Michigan wedding venue

Are Flower Girls and Ring Bearers Still Needed?

The question of whether these roles are still necessary comes up frequently, especially as couples aim to personalize their ceremonies. The short answer: no, they’re not essential, but they still hold sentimental and symbolic value.


Why Some Couples Keep the Tradition:

  • Family involvement: Including a flower girl or ring bearer allows younger relatives, nieces, nephews, godchildren, to be part of the big day in a memorable way.

  • Tradition and symbolism: Couples who appreciate the history and symbolism of these roles may choose to honor them.

  • Photographic moments: The sweetness of these roles often results in treasured photos and lighthearted memories.

Why Some Couples Skip the Tradition:

  • Logistical challenges: Very young children may feel shy, overwhelmed, or unpredictable on the day of the wedding.

  • Modern priorities: Some couples prefer a streamlined ceremony, without additional participants.

  • Alternative choices: Couples may opt for pets, grandparents, or close friends to fill in these roles, reimagining tradition in ways that reflect their personalities.


Modern Twists on the Roles

Even for couples who embrace the roles, today’s weddings often add creative spins:

  • Pet participants: Dogs carrying rings or flowers in special collars have become popular alternatives.

  • Adult “flower men”: Groomsmen or friends of the couple sometimes take on the role of scattering petals, often with humor and flair.

  • Sign holders: Instead of petals, the flower girl may carry a sign with a sweet or funny message.

  • Siblings in pairs: Flower girls and ring bearers may walk together, offering support to each other.

  • Grandparent roles: Some couples honor grandparents by giving them the role of ring bearer or flower attendant, a touching update to tradition.

These playful variations show that while the roles may not be strictly “needed,” they are endlessly adaptable.


Blending Tradition with Modern Style

The beauty of a wedding is that it reflects the couple’s story. While flower girls and ring bearers once held deep symbolic meaning, today they primarily serve to add a joyful, lighthearted touch. For some couples, their inclusion honors family traditions or creates cherished memories. For others, skipping them keeps the ceremony elegant and simple.

The important truth is this: the decision rests entirely on what feels right for the couple. There’s no rulebook dictating that you must include these roles, just as there’s no penalty for skipping them. Weddings today are about personal expression, and traditions are best kept when they feel meaningful.


For more information on pricing for Riverbend Estate: www.riverbendestatevenue.com/venue



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